'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
