So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
