If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
