the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I forgot how hot balto sounded
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
