smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize