he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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