Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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