why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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