I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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