Don't you send me to vm
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
