I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
