Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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