i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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