Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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