Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
