Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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