You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
