It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I have grass duct taped all over my body
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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