He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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