His pubic hair was longer than his dick
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
