4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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