I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
