Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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