i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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