Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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