im drinking this country out of the recession.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize