In America we eat man semen.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
