So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
