living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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