So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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