Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
