he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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