Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
