remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
