yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
