Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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