after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
