I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
