worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
