So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
