Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
