i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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