I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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