your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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