my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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