i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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