id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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