We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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