Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
