I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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