Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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