fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
PANTIES FOUND
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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