Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
