I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
