Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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