Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
