you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
