I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
