Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my shit smells like andre
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
