The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
