I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
