i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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