Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
