Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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