My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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