So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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