she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
