ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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