your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize