You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
