i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My feet surprised me
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
