Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
