Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my vag is so smooth its legendary
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
