she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My feet surprised me
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
