TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
ok first of all what the fuck
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize