I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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