We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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