So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
